Connect with us

Lifestyle

Our sex life was great when our relationship was long-distance. Now we live together, everything has changed

Sexual Healing illustation - open relationship problems
‘The open part of our relationship has now replaced our own intimate life.’ Composite: Getty/GNM design (Posed by models)

Previously, we made the most of our time together, and both enjoyed having an open relationship – but now we have moved in together, I feel my partner is no longer physically attracted to me.

I have enjoyed a long-distance relationship with my partner for five years. We are both male and used to enjoy a healthy sex life, often enjoying the time we were together, knowing we would not see each other for a few weeks. Sex seemed to be a reciprocal, affectionate adventure that occasionally included a third person to spice things up.

We have since moved in together and now it seems that I am the one doing all the work. Most of the initiation and certainly all of the imagination, seems to be coming from me. I don’t feel he is attracted to me or interested in me physically any more. This weekend, he wanted to go out to a gay sauna, but I didn’t, so he went alone.

Which would be fine if we were enjoying a healthy sex life, but we’re not. So the open part has now replaced our own intimate life. I feel that this is a significant change. He won’t talk about it, other than to say I am being insecure, hypocritical or unreasonable. To be honest, I have doubted myself because I too have enjoyed the benefits of the open relationship but only when they were the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. How do I reignite our own sex life?

Your disappointment at the lack of ease you are experiencing in segueing into this new phase is understandable, but, for now, you will have to lower your expectations. Such a significant change in a relationship typically requires time and careful negotiation.

There is probably nothing wrong with your sex life itself – you just need to discuss your individual needs and desires and try to reach a workable understanding. Some couples are better off not living together, but it is too early to know if you meet that criteria.

In addition, all kinds of extra issues arise in open relationships and you will have to tackle these one at a time. Be very specific in your negotiations: you could suggest for example, “Could we agree to take turns initiating sex?” Many relationships – of all types – fail when one partner feels the unspoken contract is an unfair one. And sexual interest can be lowered due to the accompanying underlying resentment. It would be best to address it, gently, as soon as possible.

Source: TheGuardian

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Lifestyle

Mom, 42 sleeps with son for 7 years because he reminds her of the late Dad— Son calls for help

University of Ghana

A student at the University of Ghana has revealed sleeping with his mother for ages.

According to him, he has been having sexual intercourse with his mother since he was 14 years.

He says because of the act, his mother didn’t allow him to go to a boarding school while in Senior High School.

The young man notes that he literally have sex with his mother every day and that at a point affected his academics because he does not sleep at night but work so hard at satisfying his mother in bed.

At a point when his academics was affected, his mother instead of ending the relationship rather got him an extra class teacher.

The young man indicates that he has tried to date but anytime he tries, he can’t as he wants his mother more.

According to the young man his father died a year after he was born and the mother says she cannot love any man adding that he reminds her of his dad.

“I’m a 20years old young man in the University of Ghana. I grew with my mom, I’ve no idea who my Dad is. Mom said he died a year after I was born and she hasn’t been able to love anyone till date.

“She also said I remind her of my Dad. My mom is currently 42 years old. Sir, my mom used to force me to have sex with her when I was 14years old. She didn’t let me go to a boarding school because of that. At a point, I started enjoying it too.

“We had sex almost every night. It started affecting me academically because I used to have very little sleep at night. I complained at a point but when I did, she got me a classes teacher instead of making us stop.

“It’s been more than 7years since we started having sex. I am currently on campus but I go home almost every day because of her. I haven’t really been able to get myself a girlfriend because it feels like I love my mom more.

“I’ve tried but I always give up on the lady and get back to mom. I’ve read things on people having relationship with their parents and it makes me feel terrible but I can’t stop wanting mom. Nobody really understands me.

“I haven’t spoken to anyone about my affair with mom but I feel I can quit things with her when I get someone to talk to about it. I wish to have nice relationships like my friends but, I end up not giving the lady any attention or affection. I need help, I don’t want to end up like other people,” he details.

By Philip Teye Agbove

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

MP supports Tema East women

Mr. Isaac Ashai Odamtten with the aged

The Member of Parliament for Tema East Constituency, Mr. Isaac Ashai Odamtten has rolled out small scale financial initiative through the Dangme Rural Bank to support women especially traders with loans to be injected into their businesses to expand, as part of the economic empowerment strategy.

He noted that currently 50 of the women were already going through the process of accessing the loan, adding that mechanisms had been put in place to ensure that such monies were used for their intended purposes so they would be able to repay it and by so doing others could also benefit.

Mr. Odamtte was speaking with the media during a special event organized in commemoration of the 2022 International Mother’s Day in the Tema East Constituency as well as to support aged and vulnerable women at Tema.

The National Democratic Congress (NDC) Member of Parliament for Tema East Constituency said apart from the financial support he has rolled out an economic empowerment strategy to equip women, the youth, and the vulnerable in the constituency with skills to help them gain economic power to help provide the needs of their families.

He said to be able to achieve this, his office was collecting data on women, especially mothers that needed help to effectively empower them in the best and most effective ways economically.

The MP said the women’s project also included the ‘Ashai Aged Care’, an initiative to support and care for the aged especially the women in the constituency to see how best to make life interesting and good for them.

He noted that another project targeting the health of women has to do with partnering with the Tema Metropolitan Assembly (TMA) Mother and Child Clinic to provide the needed healthcare for lactating mothers, as the well-being of their babies, who were the future generation of the constituency and the country depended on the health of their mothers.

He said another project he has started was the Back to School programme targeted at providing senior high school students in the constituency with support including trunks, chop boxes, and school provision.

Mr. Odamtten explained that even though the back-to-school project does not directly benefit women, indirectly it does as it catered for some of the responsibilities they would have shouldered as their children go to secondary schools.

Meanwhile, the MP had feted aged women in the constituency in celebration of mother’s day which is observed globally on the Second Sunday of May.

Collaborating with Mace-Hope Foundation, he fed the women and provided them with free eye screening, as well as presented them with six-yards pieces of cloth each in appreciation for their contributions to society and care of the families.

 Source: GNA

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

Abena Korkor Went Nude Again? Let’s Blame Twitter’s Terms And Conditions

Abena Korkor

Twitter allows nudity. That much is not contested. In the last twenty-four hours, the conversation that has been stirred by Abena Korkor allows for another rethinking of where national laws and policies of corporate bodies should converge or otherwise, depart. The trends on Twitter within this period have, at least, been about the newly published nude photos and videos of social media personality, Abena Korkor.

In more ways than one, it has become expected that social media will light up over specific controversial happenings or such other incidences that distract from ordinary viewing on platforms like Twitter and Instagram, every now and then. But if there is ever a need to consider why this is a problem, our best bet is now.

Only a few months ago, another social media personality, Rosemond Brown, was convicted for a similar offence. In her case, she had posed naked in front of her son and published said photo on Instagram. Social commentaries that run on the matter focused on at least two subjects – her publication of obscenity and exposing her son to nudity. These constituted the principal arguments in the backlash that ended in court.

Even without dabbling in ‘whataboutism’, the context that is presented in this new scenario with Abena allows for significant refocusing on society’s perception of the use of social media. By all means, we can sympathise with the mental health issues that are raised every now and then, when matters of these sort arise and join the call for proper support services to be rendered to persons who are properly diagnosed with ailments of these sorts.

It is why this writing does not even offer to delve into the criminalities or otherwise of publishing nudity. Ghana’s Cybersecurity Act, 2020 expressly prohibits it – including broadcasts by third parties with or without the permission of the persons involved. It is nonetheless, from this provision of the Cybersecurity Act that our conversation takes proper form.

Consider this.

Twitter has a variety of policies on publishing media content, including adult material. The minimum required legal age for owning a Twitter account is 13 years. Ordinarily, it is expected that the platform will offer critical censorship policies that protect young users. For our purposes, let’s define young users as those persons who are between ages 13 and 18. In 2018, about 38 percent of Twitter users in the US were teenagers. That’s a lot of percentage figures!

The most relevant Twitter policies on nudity are the “Sensitive Media Policy” and the “Non-consensual nudity policy”. There is a broader third, generally called “Adult Sexual Content” which deals with the commercialization of sexual activities, products and services. This third, is not our focus in this writing.

Objectively, Twitter promises a lack of tolerance for the publication of “adult content within areas that are highly visible on Twitter, including in live video, profile, header or List banner images.” It makes for a good description of the general dislike for gratuitous displays of obscenity until the platform indicates that users may actually share such content nonetheless, and only need to add a veil that marks the account as sensitive. Known accounts that share pornographic content appear in searches nonetheless and are not masked with any such veil. 

Granted that the non-consensual nudity policy expressly states that “pornography and other forms of consensually produced adult content are allowed on Twitter, provided that this media is marked as sensitive,” there is perhaps not enough to rely on when calling to focus the lack of inhibitions and the seeming inconsistency within Twitter’s advertised policy on nudity and adult content. Note, however, that this admonishing to mark tweets as sensitive is only at the discretion of the user. Hence, it is in the consideration of how this affects younger users that critical concerns ought to be raised.

There is little evidence to suggest that Twitter bars young users from accessing adult content. Unveiled as a righteous belief in free speech – and everything that comes with it, Twitter’s loose code on nudity means that anyone who accesses the platform can find pornography and every form of nudity, of course, if the user knows what he or she is searching for. 

This loose code is why Abena Korkor can post a fully nude video without any repercussion from the platform. The conversation must nonetheless, be had, in order to keep to our prior-insisted stance on conservatism and socially accepted notions of right and wrong. While there may be no conventions on what constitutes nudity or semi-nudity, we may be justified in being eye-popped at any media whose subjects are fully unclothed. Liberals may tolerate our discomfort on this ground.

There is protection in the fact that where organizational laws are at variance with national laws, the country’s law should take preeminence. It may offer hope that calls for sanitization of media content on social media, music videos and other creative displays will see favorable outcomes. It is still unclear what outcomes will follow Abena’s recent outing. However, we can be sure that others like Rosemond who have been prosecuted in the past, will understand even better, society’s contempt for outward showing of nudity if Abena’s instance is treated with similar rigor. 

For Twitter, perhaps, our interest will be better served when more persons are dealt with in accordance with the law – and/or medically, in a way that ultimately emphasizes that nudity is not a normal thing in Ghanaian societies.

Source: Dennis Law

Continue Reading

Trending