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My Story: I was born with no vagina or womb and needed surgery to allow intimacy

Julian Peter; 29, suffers from a condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH). The syndrome is a rare congenital disorder that affects the female reproductive system. Women with MRKH are born without a womb or upper two-thirds of the birth canal. PHOTO| POOL  

What you need to know:

  • Julian Peter suffers from a rare condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH)
  • The syndrome is a rare congenital disorder that affects the female reproductive system
  • Women with MRKH are born without a womb or upper two-thirds of the birth canal
  • The condition affects one in every 5,000 women across the globe and renders the woman unable to carry children.
  • In 2018, she had a constructive surgery in Tanzania to create a vaginal canal

“At the age of 17, I visited the doctor for a checkup. I had aching feet. The doctor started with normal questions during the consultation. ‘When was your last period?’ My answer was, “I haven’t had my periods yet.” That marked the beginning of a long journey to living with this ghost for life.

I grew up as a healthy child. I am a firstborn in a family of two. My dad passed on while I was young and my mother moved to Nairobi for work.

As a teen, it did not bother me much that I had not yet welcomed my periods. I was still young and naive and the fact that I had no pain, meant I had no alarm bells. While in class eight, my feet swelled but within a few days, I was okay. The swelling recurred while I was in form three and I visited Nazareth Hospital in Limuru for a check-up.

After informing the doctor that I had not got periods, he advised that I needed a checkup. They did a physical checkup only to find out that I didn’t have a vagina. The doctor then recommended a scan to see if my reproductive system was formed.

No Vagina

My first scan showed that my reproductive system was formed but my vagina was closed from the outside. Minor surgery to open it was recommended. During the 2008 surgery, the doctor realised that there was a bigger issue; I had no vagina at all. They had to stop the surgery.

After three days, I went for another scan which revealed that I had no vaginal opening, uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes and that I had one kidney. In disbelief, the doctor ordered another scan that confirmed the results. It was too much for me to handle. How could I have all those parts missing? The doctor recommended for an MRI scan to be done and this confirmed that I had Mullerian Agenesis, also called MRKH.

Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome is a rare congenital disorder that affects the female reproductive system. Women with the condition are born without a womb or upper two-thirds of the birth canal. The condition affects one in every 5,000 women across the globe and renders the woman unable to carry children.

After my diagnosis, the doctor said there was nothing much that could be done to rectify it. I was in shock and disbelief. I cried myself to sleep for days. But life had to continue. I went back to school and continued my education. I still hoped it was just but a dream and it would soon dawn that I was a normal girl. I kept hope alive. I did not discuss this with anyone at school. All they knew was, I was treated for my swollen feet. I kept it all to myself. It was easy to forget since I had nothing that kept reminding me I was different. I had no pain and this condition didn’t affect my way of doing things.

In 2010, one year after my high school education, I found the MRI report in the house as I was doing the house cleaning. It hit me again that I had a condition. I had not discussed the issue with anyone for three years. We had not discussed it as a family since the doctor had assured us that nothing could be done. I still had not got my periods.

Acceptance

I did research online to understand what Murelian Agenesis was and that’s when I found the name MRKH. I started learning about my condition and the acceptance journey started. During this time, I thought I was all alone in the world.

Fortunately, in 2015, I watched Joaneva Wanjiru, a Kenyan lady with MRKH, talking about the condition at an interview in K24. I knew I wasn’t alone. She shared her contacts which I noted down and looked for her. She connected me to other ladies with MRKH.

When I met my MRKH sisters, I was able to share without any judgment. They understood me and what I was going through. They shared their love with me. Through MRKH Africa, we were connected to a doctor in Tanzania. Women with MRKH cannot get pregnant, they won’t menstruate and will likely need to undergo special treatment in order to have sex.

In 2018, I went for a constructive surgery in Tanzania to create a vaginal canal. I had prepared myself both physically and emotionally since that process can be draining. The main purpose of going through vaginal canal creation surgery is to enable the lady to have and enjoy penetrative sex.

Having MRKH has taught me to appreciate the smallest of things in life. I have been able to accept that I will never carry my own baby. In most cases, women with MRKH will have normal female chromosomes and ovaries with eggs, meaning they may be able to procreate with the help of IVF and a surrogate. My case is different since I don’t have the ovaries, thus IVF may not work for me. I may consider child adoption when I get enough grace to do it. One step at a time.

I have met men who ran away after hearing about my condition. I am not shy about it.

My greatest joy is to make people understand that there is such a condition and we shouldn’t be treated differently. We should have access to medical care without feeling humiliated. We shouldn’t feel less of women just because we can’t have children.

To me, we only live once, so we should make ourselves happy. And never give up.”

Source:Nation Kenya

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Odartey Lamptey: I will do whatever it takes to evict my ex-wife

Odartey Lamptey: I will do whatever it takes to evict my ex-wife
Odartey Lamptey: I will do whatever it takes to evict my ex-wife

Former Ghanaian youth star, Nii Odartey Lamptey says he will do whatever it takes to evict his ex-wife from his seven-bedroom house at East Legon following the dismissal of her latest appeal today in Accra.

Odartey’s ex-wife, Gloria Appiah wanted the Court of Appeal in Accra to grant her ownership of the ex-Ghana international’s seven-bedroom house as compensation after their much-publicised split in 2013.

Speaking with Kasapa FM, shortly after the appeal was dismissed, Odartey Lamptey said the Court has directed Madam Appiah to move from the house immediately.

The former Aston Villa star said he was grateful to God for enabling him to endure the eight-year legal tussle.

“We will do whatever now to move her from the house, as soon as possible,” Odartey Lamptey said.

Background

The relationship between Odartey and Gloria hit the rocks in 2013 after DNA results revealed that he was not the biological father of his three children after 20 years of marriage.

Lamptey insisted that he never asked his estranged wife to sleep with other men to get pregnant for him after allegations that he was impotent.

He now has biological children with his partner, actress Ruweida Yakubu.Lamptey owns the Golden Lions Soccer Academy and Glow Lamp International School.

Source:Graphiconline.com

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Stop sending ‘fare’ to her; a lady accepting money sells herself-Expert

Happy couple
  • A man worth his salt will ask a woman out on a date and not send her fare. The woman accepting fare to show up for a date sells herself short.
  • What happened to a woman making the decision to invest her time and other resources for a date? What is this weird trend about men sending ‘transport’ to women? When did our men lose the skill of wooing a woman to the level of bedazzlement? Did the lyrics run out?

What happened to be a well-informed, humorous conversationalist such that a woman would love your company and show up – by her own means – for a date with you? Why would I accept a man to pay the cab, or bus for me when I can pay for it? Doesn’t it take away my power of decision when I ask a man to send me fare for showing up at our date? What is going on, good people? 

In my time – I see you roll your eyes and call me a dinosaur – we saved up and met on an equal footing. Be it that first date ever after high school when I borrowed our neighbour’s lipstick to sneak in for an ice cream date with my fellow teenage crush, to our first-ever date with Hubby as a career woman, I paid for my fare at the least. He footed the first bill, but on our second date, I paid for our drinks. 

We have a problem. First of all, today’s man no longer feeds his brain. Gone are the days when we exchanged books, read great minds, discussed themes and plots and visited mysterious places through the pages of a book.

Today’s man is this shallow-minded keyboard warrior consuming hate-filled posts and spewing the same right back. He has nothing tangible in the form of brain matter to offer a woman. So what does he do? He buys her affections with a measly mobile money loan. A man worth his salt will ask a woman out on a date and not send her fare. He expects that she will be interested enough to meet him. The woman accepting fare to show up for a date sells herself short. How does she not see this as an insult to her person? 

Monthly allowance? 

Never give a woman your ATM card. It’s a sexist statement, I know. But if money is all that you show a woman, then that is all that she will value you for. When the money runs out, do not be stunned that she will also pack and go.

I was shocked to learn that there are wives who receive a monthly allowance from their husbands. I complained to our couple mentor, that my husband does not give me a special allowance. Never mind that we have a family budget that includes our allowances to do as we deem. 

“A woman feels good to receive some money from her husband, even when she has her own.”

This statement from our friends softened Hubby’s heart and he gave me his ATM card and, of course the PIN. I do not know what tender he had walked into as he had managed to load the debit card with some substantial cash. By coincidence, it is at this time that I realised how ancient and threadbare our curtains had become. I replaced them and had the curtain rods redesigned. Our kids needed a wardrobe upgrade, Hubby too, and since Toi Market does not accept card payments, I went to the shopping malls.

Our mattresses needed the waterproof covers I had seen advertised, and I got that sorted. Our sofas were an eyesore. Hubby took the ATM card back before I could get the seats sorted. This got me extremely upset, and I wondered then of what purpose was a husband when he could not let me have his ATM card without grudging about it. His worth seemed to have been temporarily tied to that money card.

The minute he withdrew it, I was forced to once again use my brain and hands for an honest day’s work. A wise thing he did, too, seeing as Covid-19 came along and ‘shown us things’ as we Kenyans say when we can’t find a fitting description of a terrible experience. We are changing the seats even without his ATM card. Gentlemen, stop sending fare. If she sees your worth, she will show up, even if you are in Lodwar.

Source:Karimi Gatimi of Nation Kenya

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Bride leaves wedding to write exams in her wedding gown

A video of a Nigerian woman has gone viral after she stormed her school’s examination hall to sit for her exams on her wedding day.

The bride who is a student of the University of Abuja caused a massive spectacle on campus after arriving in her white ball gown, in the company of her husband.

A video, shared online, captures the moment the student took her seat while her colleagues simply stared in dismay.

In another video, the lady and her groom were seen walking out of the examination hall, which attracted lots of students acting as paparazzi.A lady in the background was heard asking “God when?”

Source:adomonline

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